the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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