Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the day after is always just damage control
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
