I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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