The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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