I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
