They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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