FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
