Do you still have your period?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you will always have a special place in my vag
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
