ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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