I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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