I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
