Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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