do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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