yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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