Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize