never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
