I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
