I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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