I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
