why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
