i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
