what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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