I don't think brook has ever known best
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
