If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
