is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
