I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
