morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
