did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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