You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
