I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
