hotel room ftw
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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