Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need a beard to bite.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
