I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I want a musical about memes.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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