I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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