I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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