her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
