There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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