i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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