it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
