Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
