Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
