I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
