so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize