He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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