I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Randomize
