Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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