Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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