My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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