you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
no you cant smoke seaweed
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
