K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
