Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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