I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
