last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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