How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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