so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Vodka?
Forever.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
