More tranny stories later!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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