you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize