I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
