Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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