eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
