Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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